I have been toying with this idea for while now – to finally, after 8 years or so, tell my parents that I am an Atheist. Those 8 years consisted of a handful of occasions of me actually going to Church when I was at home and lying about going to Church when I wasn’t. I didn’t like the lying part at all.
I have tried to imagine the actual conversation and thanks to my ever optimistic/paranoid imagination made up various scenarios of how they would react – from kicking me out of the house to telling me that they secretly were the same too.
The actual conversation was way less entertaining. My dad had this disappointed look on his face and gave me that empty threat I have heard one too many times: “You will learn someday”. My mom couldn’t/wouldn’t really grasp this and, from what I could make out, seemed to think that I shifted my religion to something else. A few more words cleared that up.
Some minutes later, after a few calm words and an awkward long silence, the topic shifted and all was back to normal – and it stayed like that. Except for the extra minutes my mom prays to compensate for my lack of prayer and a little more prodding for information.
It makes me wonder, why I never told them anything earlier. Then again, if I would have told them earlier (as a student) they might not have taken me seriously.
Anyways, here is the Disclaimer: Kids, don’t try this at home. (Unless you are fairly certain of the outcome or can handle the consequences). On second thought, go ahead.
I came out last December. And I haven’t prayed with the family, or gone to church with them since. It was far easier than I thought.
I can see the traumatized look on your mother’s face. And then I see your stupid grin. So, it kinda evens out.
Congrats!
Thanks. Though I did not have a grin on my face. At least not that day.
A few days later we went to visit a grand aunt of mine who happened to a nun. And she kept babbling about gods love thrice over. By the third them I couldn’t help but grin.
Man .. i wish i wasn’t confused. This whole this is weird and confusing !
It’s *not* confusing. It’s just a load of bullshit you have trouble letting go of simply because you grew up with it.
5 minutes of clear thought will open your eyes to the absurdity that is belief/faith.
I get that people need god and a manufactured sense of meaning to get through the pain and suffering. Truth is, life is shit. Grow a pair and deal with it.
@swen Way to go bro. Do they suspect you’re gay too like Joey’s dad?
@PS. Nope they have no clue about that. Thought I will drop that as a XMAS present
Wouldn’t be the same if I had to do it. Things wont come back to normal with my Mom.
I don’t like lying to Mom either, but I do it anyway.
I never made a secret of it, of my constant search for faith and finally of embracing my atheism. Things were probably easier in my family because my brother came out before me as an atheist and my parents aren’t very religious anyway. Neither goes to church and they bitch about catholicism the same way I do.
But I was still surprised that especially my mum seemed flabbergasted and a little hurt when I actually put my non-belief into words. I was like, “mum, I grew up without religion, what did you expect?” But she can live with it. Ultimately, I don’t think that it’s very important for her.
Anyways, long story short: Good for you about coming clean and congrats!
Oh yay, finally. That trip sure was productive then.
Made a deal with my mum (for the same reason that I couldn’t handle lying to her); I am requested to go to church on Christmas, New Year and Easter with the family, in keeping with tradition. She still sometimes hopes I’m kidding about the atheism, but seems to have come to terms with it in the last year.
I don’t understand what the big deal about all this is. Is it just that Christians are a bit passionate about the whole believing-in-God thing? I don’t see any problems in my household about this issue. In fact, I’ve cousins who have never been to a temple all their lives. Sometimes though they take their Moms to places of worship doing a Bachchanic standing-outside-the-temple act. I believe Christianity is way tolerant than Hinduism, or is it not?
Where the fuck are you dude?